Chapter 101: How to Date

“Hey, handsome, what are you thinking about? Face reality already!”

“And besides—” Su Qinghu rubbed Erdan’s dumbfounded head, smiling mysteriously, “When it comes to birthday presents, it only means something if your dad gives it to me on his own initiative, you get it?”

If she wanted a birthday present, couldn’t she just ask for it herself? When it came to thick skin, Su Qinghu could take the initiative any day.

But honestly, after what happened last time, she was still holding a grudge and didn’t feel like dealing with him for now!

“Heh heh, then you just wait! Even if you wait a hundred years, my dad still won’t celebrate your birthday!” Erdan’s mouth split into a gloating grin the moment he heard the word “initiative.” “The only birthday in my dad’s head is the country’s birthday!”

“Bet you didn’t expect that, huh?” Erdan said smugly. “You should learn from me. If you want a birthday or a present, just tell my dad straight out!”

Su Qinghu was stunned.

Feeling like he’d livened up the mood enough, Erdan got down to business. “Mom, where did you send my stuff? Who did you send it to?”

It didn’t matter who got it—as long as he knew where, even if he couldn’t get it back, he could always buy it back!

Erdan now wasn’t the same kid who had to think twice before buying a popsicle.

He had money!

He even had savings!

“I sent it to a boy who usually doesn’t have toys to play with, is strictly managed, and isn’t allowed to go out for no reason…” Su Qinghu smiled, and just as Erdan thought she wouldn’t tell him easily, she spoke.

At first, Erdan wondered if she’d sent it to his dad, but when he heard “boy,” he lost it. “Did you send it to that Qian Duoshu kid?!”

“Are you stupid? If I wanted to do that, wouldn’t I just give it to him directly?” Su Qinghu said. “Stop crying.”

“I’ll cry if I want! You gave my stuff to someone else’s kid, and you won’t even let me cry? Why?” Erdan wiped his tears. “When I sent your stuff, it was to family. But you sent mine to outsiders. You’re siding with others over your own!”

Su Qinghu: “…”

Tsk tsk, she almost wanted to applaud this kid. Seeing he couldn’t win the argument, he’d started nitpicking about whether the recipient was family or not.

When Su Qinghu didn’t answer, Erdan hugged her leg, sat on the floor, and started wailing at the top of his lungs.

Su Qinghu narrowed her eyes, pried his hands off, squatted down, and easily flipped him over—then gave his butt a smack!

Dadan was stunned.

Erdan was stunned too.

The slap was loud, but it didn’t hurt at all…

Erdan couldn’t help but grin, wanting to laugh out loud. He didn’t know why, but… it just felt strangely novel!

It was like he wasn’t an outsider anymore, like Mom was really close to him?

Right? Right? That’s got to be it, right?

Heh heh heh~~~

Su Qinghu blinked after the smack, her mouth twitching, about to say something when Erdan started giggling happily!

This kid is just—

Su Qinghu’s lips twitched. She let him go and said seriously, “From now on, you can’t go through adults’ things without permission.”

“Can we go in the room, then?” Dadan frowned, remembering the previous agreement. “Erdan is supposed to be in charge of cleaning for a month.”

“Cleaning is fine, of course,” Su Qinghu emphasized, “but you need to ask first, and don’t rummage through the drawers.”

Dadan nodded to show he understood.

Erdan rubbed his butt, looking at Su Qinghu, no longer angry about his stuff being given away, and said with a grin, “You got home late on Friday, so I started cleaning first. When I was sweeping under the bed, the key from the nightstand got caught on my pants, and when I came out, I accidentally opened the nightstand.”

And that’s when he saw Dad’s portrait.

“Your birthday’s coming up, so I wanted to send your portrait to Dad, so he’d know you miss him.”

Su Qinghu: “I don’t miss him.”

“Oh, don’t be stubborn!” Erdan waved his hand like a little grown-up, face full of “I’ve seen your type before.” “If you didn’t miss my dad, how could you draw him so well? So lifelike?”

Su Qinghu: …I don’t know if I should say this, but it’s not that I miss him—I’m just interested in his body proportions…

“Mom, you’re too young~” Erdan sighed. “Do you even know how to date?”

Su Qinghu took a deep breath. Why did this little troublemaker jump topics like that?

“I’ve seen plenty at the end of the alley and in the park!” Erdan said, all proud, like he was about to broaden her horizons. “Those couples, even just holding hands, they’re all shy and awkward. One time I couldn’t stand it, so I ran up and told them, ‘Stop dawdling! You’ve been at it for minutes—can’t you just hold hands already?’”

Su Qinghu looked him up and down. “You didn’t get chased and beaten up?”

“Nope! After I said that, they just blushed and ran away.” Erdan was baffled but didn’t dwell on it, continuing, “Later, an old man in the park told me, when it comes to dating, the most exciting part is when they want to say something but hold back.”

Su Qinghu: …He really didn’t get beaten up?

“If you want to date my dad, you have to make his heart itch, make him want to say something but hold back. You can’t just say you want—” Erdan was getting into it, but Dadan quickly covered his mouth and dragged him toward the bedroom.

Erdan: “Mmmph mmmph…”

Dadan looked at Su Qinghu. “Tomorrow’s Monday. We have to get up early for the flag-raising. We’re going to bed now!”

Su Qinghu raised her eyebrows and let Dadan drag Erdan away.

Once they were in the bedroom and the door was closed, Dadan started whacking him.

Erdan ran all over the room, aggrieved but not daring to yell, so he whispered, “Bro, why are you hitting me again?”

“Why am I hitting you?” Dadan was angry. “Didn’t I tell you not to listen to that dating stuff?”

Even with him around, he hadn’t managed to prevent this.

Erdan wilted instantly.

He was just curious, and when his brother went to the bathroom or got distracted, he’d sneak back and get people to finish telling him…

“Starting tomorrow, if you listen to that stuff again, I’ll write to Dad and tell him.” Dadan threatened.

Erdan: “Fine, I won’t listen anymore.”

Just as they stopped their wrestling match, there was a knock at the door.

Dadan shot Erdan a warning look, straightened his clothes, and went to open the door.

Su Qinghu was standing at the door. She took out two yuan and handed it to him. “This is your allowance for next week. Pens and notebooks are separate—this is for you two to get some extra snacks.”

Dadan took the money.

Su Qinghu watched his movements with interest and smiled. “Dadan, have you ever spanked your brother?”

Dadan froze, his heart pounding. Was she going to spank him after spanking his brother?

She wasn’t that kind of person, was she?

“Don’t worry, it’s fine. Brothers roughhousing is normal.” Su Qinghu smiled knowingly. “I’m just asking because I want to remind you—at your age, you’re still growing. If you scrimp too much, you won’t grow tall.”

“Your brother has no meat on his butt…”

Su Qinghu shook her head with a sigh and walked away, leaving Dadan frozen in place."