Chapter 18: Chapter 18: Feeding Pancakes, First Conversation

A bowl of egg batter made twenty-five egg pancakes.

Each one was bigger than a face.

She set up a wobbly-legged table outside to serve as a makeshift dining table.

Besides the big bowl of egg pancakes, Gu Qinghuan poured each of the two children a bowl of Telunsu milk to go with their pancakes.

Drinking more milk is nutritious—it’ll help them grow tall.

As for Xu Huai’an, she poured him a cup of spiritual spring water, dissolved today’s medicine into it, and made sure he drank it all.

“Dabao, you start eating. I’ll go feed your dad.”

Dabao wanted to go himself, but Gu Qinghuan persuaded him not to.

On one hand, she wanted the child to have a proper meal; on the other, she needed to make sure Xu Huai’an took his medicine. She’d spent a fortune on it—wasting it would really pain her.

And, she also wanted to overcome her own fear. If she wanted to cure Xu Huai’an, she’d have to get to know and interact with him more.

Gu Qinghuan put ten pancakes on a plate, planning to eat two herself and give him eight—should be enough.

Hearing footsteps drawing closer, Xu Huai’an felt a bit embarrassed and kept his head down, but that only made it more obvious he was pretending. In the end, he simply rolled over and lay flat on the kang bed, staring at the ceiling in a daze.

Gu Qinghuan gave herself a pep talk.

It’s fine, what’s there to be afraid of? He’s a soldier of the people, and he’s sick—helping him is the right thing to do.

After a few deep breaths, she finally walked over to Xu Huai’an.

“Time to eat. I’m going to feed you, so don’t bite me, okay?” Not caring whether he understood or not, Gu Qinghuan greeted him on her own terms.

A faint smile tugged at the corner of Xu Huai’an’s mouth.

This young lady really is kind—and a bit timid.

But the food she made smelled so good it was almost criminal.

Seeing that Xu Huai’an wasn’t glaring at her like usual, Gu Qinghuan mustered her courage, folded a pancake, and held it to his mouth. If you looked closely, you could see her hand trembling.

Xu Huai’an saw how scared she was but also how determined to feed him, and he couldn’t help but want to tease her. He deliberately took a huge, sudden bite.

Gu Qinghuan was startled by his aggressive move and quickly pulled her hand back, afraid for her fingers.

Xu Huai’an couldn’t hold back anymore and let out a laugh. He hadn’t laughed in a very, very long time.

Even though it was just a light chuckle, Gu Qinghuan caught it.

Did I hear that right? Is this guy laughing at me?

And after all I’m doing for him! Like a dog biting Lü Dongbin—can’t recognize a good person when he sees one! Hmph!

She was about to scold him, when suddenly a thought struck her.

“You’re lucid right now?”

Xu Huai’an was busy chewing the pancake and didn’t answer until he swallowed, then he managed a single word: “Mm.”

Gu Qinghuan didn’t have time to argue about what just happened. There was so much she wanted to discuss—who knew when he might lose his senses again?

“Xu Huai’an, your illness is actually a psychological one. It’s different from insanity, you know?”

Xu Huai’an stared intently at the bitten pancake in her hand, saying nothing.

Resigned, Gu Qinghuan handed it over. Xu Huai’an took another big bite, then chewed as he said, “Mm.”

Does that mean he understands? This guy is so stingy with words. Looks like I’ll have to show him I mean business.

“From my research, your condition is a psychological illness triggered by the trauma of war.

Before you got sick, you served on the battlefield, right? And you suffered serious physical or psychological trauma during the war, didn’t you?

Do you lose control of your emotions and get anxious whenever you see blood?”

Gu Qinghuan finally saw the change in Xu Huai’an’s expression she’d hoped for. From initial calm and indifference, to disbelief.

Because everything she said was exactly what had happened to him—word for word.

For a moment, he even wondered if Gu Qinghuan was an enemy spy planted by his side.

Xu Huai’an forced himself to calm down, thinking carefully before acting.

“You know about this illness? Can you treat it?” His voice was hoarse, but clearly more urgent than before.

The delicious pancakes were forgotten—nothing mattered more than the hope of recovery.

“I’ve heard about this illness before, and your situation is quite similar.

If someone suffers severe psychological trauma and doesn’t get help in time, it can build up inside, leading to drastic personality changes, depression, anxiety, even mental breakdowns.

It’s a psychological illness. As the old saying goes, ‘heart sickness needs heart medicine’—ultimately, you have to overcome your inner demons yourself.

But, there are still some things we can try.”

Seeing Xu Huai’an listening intently, Gu Qinghuan deliberately paused and cleared her throat.

“What things?” Xu Huai’an looked at her anxiously, as if he could reach out and shake her.

Seeing his urgency, Gu Qinghuan worried she’d push him too far, so she stopped teasing.

“I’ve put together a treatment plan for you. Basically, it combines psychological therapy and physical exercise, to help you face your trauma and overcome it.

From now on, you’ll have to cooperate with my treatment.

Once you’re a bit better and don’t need to be tied up like this, I’ll find a chance to take you to a top hospital in the capital to see the best psychologists. Maybe you’ll have a chance at a full recovery.”

Gu Qinghuan painted him a bright future, and he really wanted to believe in it.

Suppressing his many doubts, Xu Huai’an chose to trust her. After all, things couldn’t get any worse than they were now.

He only asked, “Why are you helping me?”

Why, indeed? Gu Qinghuan wasn’t sure herself. There were many reasons.

Maybe she was just a kind person—after all, she’d died saving someone else.

Maybe it was because the two children had no father to rely on, drifting through life with a tragic fate.

Maybe she couldn’t bear to see a once-proud soldier die unjustly, his body abandoned in the wild.

All those thoughts boiled down to one sentence:

“If I stand by and do nothing today, then when disaster comes for me, there will be no one left to speak up for me.”

Her bright eyes shone with determination, clear as a mountain spring.

Xu Huai’an felt ashamed of his earlier suspicions—he’d been too paranoid. Judging by her manner and words, this girl was no petty schemer.

He wanted to say something to thank her, but in the face of Gu Qinghuan’s righteousness, words felt too pale.

“Eat your pancakes while they’re hot—they won’t taste good cold.”

Gu Qinghuan handed him another pancake. She’d wanted to ask about the war, but seeing his unstable mood, she decided to wait.

There would be time for that later. First, she needed to help him build emotional stability before he could face those painful memories.

“Thank you,” Xu Huai’an said softly.

Thank you for caring for the children.

Thank you for worrying about a madman’s illness.

Thank you for your rare kindness.

...

If I really recover, then this life of mine will be yours."